Friday, August 21, 2009

Call Me A Dreamer

Two doors opened in one week and I didn’t even have to push a bit. There is no question that God’s hand is moving in and through this writing process. When I returned from the writing conference, She Speaks, in late July, I remember asking God to confirm this dream to write by opening up doors. I committed to waiting upon Him to do the work, instead of pushing forward out of determination. My determination was to let HIM provide opportunities, and while I waited, I wrote.

This week I received two emails with God’s fingerprints splattered all over them! The first was a letter stating an article I wrote about giving out our time generously (my first article ever submitted) will be included on the Sage Ministry newly launched website next month (http://www.sageministries.org/). The second email was from an editor of a small Christian newsletter, called Titus2. She asked if I would be interested in contributing a few articles with a single’s perspective throughout the year. Interested? Yes!

My heart is struck with the words of Psalm 37:23, “If the LORD delights in a man's way, he makes his steps firm." God asks us to listen to His voice, decide to be committed to obedience and then follow through with the plans He places on our hearts. He will do great things with our obedience, whether noticed or unnoticed by those around us, for the sake of His glory, His name, and His renown. I am praising His name this week as I celebrate this confirmation to write!

Have you ever sensed God calling you to something, but you quickly talk yourself out of it? Do you ever secretly long for God to use your life? Have you been holding onto a dream for so long it seems nearly impossible to realize?

I’ve known those feelings and I want to encourage you to open yourself up to what God may want to do with your dreams. So often we think of dreams as mystical but we can step towards our dreams and trust God because He created our hearts. The example of Nehemiah comes to mind as someone who had a dream, asked God to give him an opportunity and prepared himself in advance for action, waiting for God to move. When God opened a door of opportunity, Nehemiah spoke prepared words to King Artaxerxes, and was allowed to return to Judah to rebuild Jerusalem's walls. So often we hide the dreams in our hearts because we’re afraid. What if Nehemiah allowed fear to keep his mouth quiet before the king? I'm learning my dreams and God's will for my life can work together!

Not long ago I read Psalm 37:4 for the first time with deeper understanding. “Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.” I literally used to cling to this verse in regards to my then crush of the moment, thinking that surely if my heart desired my crush, God would grant me a date. I’ve realized this verse promises something so much better than dating a crush. God was saying to me that He would put within my heart desires for the things He had planned for me! I was astounded with the thought that as I sought Him, my heart would begin to desire the things He had for me. Delighting in God is loving Him, and when we love Him, we want to obey Him.

Sadly, we sabotage God’s greatness for our own comfort and end up losing out. What God wants to blossom, we so often bury. God doesn’t need us, but He has chosen to gift us and use those gifts for His purposes. I urge you to seek Him this week regarding your dreams. What if God wants to take us higher than we ever dreamed possible?

If we do have a dream, ultimately we have a choice. We can hide our dream, hoping no one finds out, or we can step out with confidence in God’s power. I don’t know what dreams you have or if it’s God that has placed them in your heart, but isn’t it worth the risk of finding out? In the process of pursuing your dreams, the best reward will not be the outcome, but walking the road with God as your Guide.

All I know at this point in my writing journey, is that God is at work because He has given me a dream, awakened that dream and is now helping me live it out. I will continue writing, waiting and watching in awe, as He opens doors I never imagined I’d get to walk through.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Victory Awaits

Every year, right about this same time, I go through the exact same routine. I sit before the Lord, and I write out goals for my year (being a teacher allows for this sense of renewal, newness and fresh beginnings each September--one of the many blessings of teaching). If I were to show you the pages of journal entries from year to year, you would see written on each one: Goal #1: Spend quality time in God’s Word each morning!

With the best intentions, I start the year off with fervor. I think, this year will be different! I will make God’s Word a priority and nothing will stop me! But, like so many zealous New Year’s resolutions, my goal often turns to defeat. I start to throw God 10-15 seconds each morning before I rush out the door, breakfast in hand and my hair still wet, hoping tomorrow morning will look a bit different. Then there are those really bad mornings where I merely glance over at my stack of devotionals and Bible and I say, “Lord, I am soooo sorry! You must really be disappointed in me! I’ll spend extra time with You tonight, I promise.” And then off I rush. Day after day it’s defeat. Ugh. Sigh.

The problem with defeat in this one area is that it essentially allows defeat to follow me throughout the rest of my day. If I throw God 10 seconds in the morning or worse, just a glance in the direction of my Bible, in essence I am telling God I’ve got the day covered, but thanks for the offer. What wickedness, what self-reliance.

So, as I sat to write my goals today for the upcoming year, I wrote down the goal that continues to follow me year after year but this time I meant it. See, God has been slowly, carefully, intricately changing my heart from one that was self-reliant to one that sees my need for Him like never before.

Just as I write these words, my mind immediately goes to Psalm 27:4. It is a well known verse with a fresh new meaning in my heart. “One thing I ask of the LORD, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to seek him in his temple.” This is my heart's longing!

Writing down the goal to spend quality time in God’s Word doesn’t have to bring defeat, not this time, and not this year. Defeat in the past does not equal defeat in the future. Defeat in the past expecting defeat in the future is true defeat. I choose to put God first instead of fitting Him in when there’s room. With Psalm 27:4 tacked to my heart, my reward in victory can be gazing, dwelling and seeking Him each and every morning! My track record might be failure but with God’s help, I’m awaiting victory!

Monday, August 17, 2009

Reduced to Love

As I was reading from the book, Total Love, by Frances J. Roberts, she penned a thought that struck my heart. Speaking of joy, she wrote, “It doesn’t come from being popular or rich or powerful; it comes from being reduced to love.”

How can you or I be reduced to love?

The answer is experiencing joy through the avenue of a personal, thriving relationship with Jesus Christ. If I want to reach a fullness of joy, the one and only way there, is to know God. Not just know about Him, but learning and growing in an understanding of His true character and heart, as revealed in His Word. Out of knowing Him, I will grow deeper in love with Him. I am not speaking of a cheap kind of love we so often suffer from, but a true, intimate love that views everything else besides for His glory as filthy rags. In response then to loving Him, I will spend myself for Him, caring about what burdens His heart, and fully obeying whatever He asks of me. And if I have a fullness of joy, then my life will not so much be about me and my thing but about God and His heart. If I want this kind of life, if I desire to be reduced down to love, then I must look at what Jesus exemplified on earth.

Jesus was concerned about people and relationship building. He took the time to talk with the outcast, downhearted and despairing ones of His day. He slowed down to the speed of love, which by contrast to what we might imagine, is a slow, often meticulous pace. Bottom line: He came for us.

This brings me to question my motivation to write. Do I write for myself or am I writing for others? Is my writing about finding my own fame or spreading the fame of His Name? These questions must be fully asked and fully answered each time I sit in front of the blinking cursor. If the words I write have anything to do with me, then the words I write are simply consonants and vowels strung together on the page, void of any real message.

I want nothing more than for the words I write to bring His Name glory and encourage the hearts that read them. Love for Christ, expressed by loving others, through a reduction of me is the key to joy. I pray for a greater desire to touch lives, love others as Jesus modeled, thus experiencing a joy that cannot fully be expressed by any typed or spoken word but lived out in a radical obedient life.

Sunday, August 9, 2009

An Unwanted Visitor

It’s not surprising immediately after starting this blog and really getting serious about writing this book, the enemy has paid me a visit. It was a visit I had expected but hadn’t looked forward to.

I sent off an article I had written for a teen ministry to get proofed from a trusted friend. I asked for real feedback and wasn’t looking to hear it sounded great if it didn’t. Thankfully, I received some really great guidance. This person had made suggestions for some of my more lacking sections and had given me brilliant advice in how to “show” rather than just “tell” the reader my message.

As I started to compare my writing against her suggestions, my heart sank. Here is a woman who doesn’t feel the call to write, yet her words and ideas were brimming with imagery, passion and voice. Immediately the enemy saw an opportunity to taunt, and taunt he did—of course, right at my most tender part, the thought that I really don’t have what it takes. I sat in front of my computer almost in tears. God, you've called me to this, yet I can’t do it! What am I thinking, wanting to write a book and be published? Surely I am totally off track.

As I ran (literally) to the source of my Hope, I got on my knees and asked God to renew my mind. What did He have to say about my feelings of inadequacy? As I searched through the Scriptures, I found His heart on the matter in the book of Zechariah. The Lord said, “Not by might, nor by power, but by my Spirit” (Zech. 4:6). That’s it! If He’s called me to write, it isn’t dependent upon me! It is the Holy Spirit’s work in my heart that the writing will flow.

I DON’T have what it takes in my own strength, but I believe with all of my heart that as God’s fingers points the way, His hand most surely will clear the path. He will provide each and every word that I pen. This book won’t be written by trying harder or wishing it to be, rather it will be an act of God through a willing daughter of the King.

Right then and there I recommitted to making this process not about me, my fears or inadequacies (because they’re there!) but about being obedient to a call, trusting my LORD to meet my needs, and finding joy in the process, no matter the outcome.

The next time the enemy comes to taunt, I've got Zechariah 4:6 posted right above my computer as a reminder that this battle belongs to the Lord and my strength is found in Him!

Friday, August 7, 2009

In the beginning...

Well let the ride begin...this is officially my first blog ever! I'm not an avid blog reader, so to be writing one seems a bit mysterious. Bear with me as I muddle through the ins and outs of blogging :)

Right now I am in quite possibly one of the most exciting times in my life. I feel like I'm on the brink of a new chapter (literally and figuratively). I have been living with the dream of writing a book for as long as I can remember. I never knew what to do with the dream until it's as if one day God just said-Go! Pursue this dream, do your part and I will do the rest. I hear the verse, "Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland," Isaiah 43: 18-19. I just love the freshness of this verse. So...here I am trying to follow through on my part.

I just returned this past weekend from the 'She Speaks' conference for women who feel the call to speak/write. After learning an intense amount of information this is the bottom line: It's NOT about me! Every aspect of wanting to write this book has to do with Him. It's about Him, for Him, and it will be through Him. Whether or not this book ever makes it to publication, is not important. The important thing is being obedient to a call. He's asking me to write, so writing I will do.

I hope you'll come along on this road with me. Only God knows where it will lead in terms of destination. I am learning though, that the end is really but a means to the journey.