Victory Awaits

Every year, right about this same time, I go through the exact same routine. I sit before the Lord, and I write out goals for my year (being a teacher allows for this sense of renewal, newness and fresh beginnings each September--one of the many blessings of teaching). If I were to show you the pages of journal entries from year to year, you would see written on each one: Goal #1: Spend quality time in God’s Word each morning!

With the best intentions, I start the year off with fervor. I think, this year will be different! I will make God’s Word a priority and nothing will stop me! But, like so many zealous New Year’s resolutions, my goal often turns to defeat. I start to throw God 10-15 seconds each morning before I rush out the door, breakfast in hand and my hair still wet, hoping tomorrow morning will look a bit different. Then there are those really bad mornings where I merely glance over at my stack of devotionals and Bible and I say, “Lord, I am soooo sorry! You must really be disappointed in me! I’ll spend extra time with You tonight, I promise.” And then off I rush. Day after day it’s defeat. Ugh. Sigh.

The problem with defeat in this one area is that it essentially allows defeat to follow me throughout the rest of my day. If I throw God 10 seconds in the morning or worse, just a glance in the direction of my Bible, in essence I am telling God I’ve got the day covered, but thanks for the offer. What wickedness, what self-reliance.

So, as I sat to write my goals today for the upcoming year, I wrote down the goal that continues to follow me year after year but this time I meant it. See, God has been slowly, carefully, intricately changing my heart from one that was self-reliant to one that sees my need for Him like never before.

Just as I write these words, my mind immediately goes to Psalm 27:4. It is a well known verse with a fresh new meaning in my heart. “One thing I ask of the LORD, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to seek him in his temple.” This is my heart's longing!

Writing down the goal to spend quality time in God’s Word doesn’t have to bring defeat, not this time, and not this year. Defeat in the past does not equal defeat in the future. Defeat in the past expecting defeat in the future is true defeat. I choose to put God first instead of fitting Him in when there’s room. With Psalm 27:4 tacked to my heart, my reward in victory can be gazing, dwelling and seeking Him each and every morning! My track record might be failure but with God’s help, I’m awaiting victory!